Published in 2022
7 hours and 54 minutes
Aimée Lutkin is a writer, director, and performer from New York City, where she was born and raised. Her writing has been featured on Jezebel, Marie Claire, and Glamour online, among other places.
What is this book about?
In this crackling, incisive blend of memoir and cultural reporting, one woman’s quest to answer the question When can I say I’ll be alone forever? leads her to explore the unprecedented rise of single adults, our society’s pathologizing of loneliness, and the purpose of dating.
One evening, thirtysomething single writer Aimee Lutkin found herself at a dinner party surrounded by couples. When the conversation turned to her love life, Lutkin–who had dated on and (mostly) off for years–stated simply, I don’t really know if I’m going to date anyone ever again. Some people are just alone forever. As her friends rushed to assure her that love comes when you least expect it and to recommend new dating apps, Lutkin wondered, Why, when there are more unmarried adults than ever before, is there so much pressure to couple up? Why is everyone so uncomfortable around single people? Why does it seem like your real life can’t start until you meet The One? And is it possible to be single without being lonely?
Over the course of the next year, Lutkin set out to answer these questions and to see whether there really was some trick for escaping loneliness out there. She went on hundreds of dates; read the sociologists, authors, and relationship experts exploring singlehood and loneliness; dove into the wellness industrial complex; tossed it all aside to binge-watch Netflix and eat nachos; and probed the capitalist structures that make alternative family arrangements nearly impossible.
Chock-full of razor-sharp observations and poignant moments of vulnerability, The Lonely Hunter is a stirring account of one woman’s experience of being alone and a revealing expose of our culture’s deep biases against the un-coupled. Blazingly smart, insightful, and full of heart, this is a book for anyone determined to make, follow, and break their own rules.
